Blaston: How Fitness and Gaming Collide in Esports
In the world of esports, where virtual battles captivate millions, and sometimes fill out stadiums, a game called Blaston has begun rewriting the rules. While traditional esports involve players sitting in front of screens with either a controller or keyboard at hand, Blaston takes players on a different path — where every move in real life translates into the game.
Picture this: instead of simply controlling an avatar with buttons, you become the avatar itself. Your physical actions directly impact your in-game performance, creating a unique fusion of gaming and fitness. Blaston breaks free from the stereotype of sedentary gaming, promoting healthy habits while you compete.
This is the story of an unlikely Virtual Reality (VR) game that redefined competitive gaming and created a new generation of healthy gamers.
Movement in VR: Blaston's Innovation
Blaston is a competitive 1 versus 1 bullet hell dueling shooter played in VR. The game immerses players in a cyberpunk world, where they can unleash their unique gameplay style in adrenaline-pumping duels, akin to fighting games. But here's the twist: Blaston doubles as a fitness game, requiring real-life movement to secure victory.
Over the past eight years, numerous competitive VR games have hit the scene. However, there's been no consensus on how players should navigate within the games themselves. Typically, VR shooters rely on smooth locomotion, where players remain stationary in real life and use their controller's joystick to move their in-game avatar. Some games incorporate teleporting or a blend of movement techniques to offer mobility. Unfortunately, these methods can cause discomfort for VR newcomers.
Only a handful of games encourage physical movement, but players are often confined to limited indoor space. In certain cases, players employ complex setups with backpack-mounted computers to move within predefined areas, or the game world adjusts to accommodate movement restrictions. Blaston stands out as a unique game where players embody a head, torso, and hands, confined to a platform whose dimensions mirror real-life space. Stepping outside this platform boundary results in rapid health depletion and likely defeat.
Smooth locomotion in Onward (2016), and a mix of smooth locomotion and teleportation in Hyper Dash (2021).
For Blaston, players, weapons, and projectiles possess their own health and damage systems. This, along with 30 weapons boasting various cooldown times and load-outs comprising six weapons, Blaston offers many options. Players must discover what works best for their playstyle and think about how to counter their opponents effectively.
To me, Blaston can be likened to other highly skilled competitive games like Super Smash Bros. Melee and Starcraft: Brood War, as they share a similar level of mechanical complexity and evolving metagame that keeps dedicated players hooked. These games are both accessible to pick up and learn, yet incredibly challenging to master once you start to understand their systems.
The top players in these games become nearly unbeatable until a newcomer arrives, shaking up the entire competitive scene. In Super Smash Bros. Melee, we witnessed the era of the Five Gods, and Starcraft: Brood War had its Five Bonjwas. While Blaston hasn't been around as long as these two classics, the game community has already witnessed signs of players who stand head and shoulders above the rest.
We'll delve into that later, but first, let's take a closer look at how it all began.
Various competitive VR titles played in an esports type setting.
Physicality in Practice: Impacting Blaston's Gameplay
Blaston's journey began as a prototype under the leadership of Mathieu Castelli. During the VR Fitness Summit 2020 keynote, alongside the CEO of Resolution Games, Tommy Palm, he revealed the genesis of the game and their pursuit of a competitive mechanic that would also encourage real-life movement.
The quote from Mathieu Castelli summarizes their approach:
'If you combine the power of feeling the presence of others, so that you feel like you’re next to someone [...], and you get the natural sports movement in VR. The two together quickly narrowed it down to having two players on a podium one meter apart. The players can almost touch each other, but we didn’t want them to, as you’d feel the limitations of VR such as in Ironlights or SUPERHOT VR, where the games are very physical, but as soon as you directly interact with something you can’t feel it hitting. Therefore ranged weapons became the optimal choice, then we looked to put players as close to each other as possible and then we continued from there.'
From the VR Fitness Summit of 2020, featuring Tommy Palm and Mathieu Casteilli - along with the summarized quote above.
Mathieu went on to explain how the team focused on enhancing players' perception of their avatars and movement in the game, drawing inspiration from how people learn real-life sports. While elements of this can be found in other esports games, such as muscle memory from button presses. Or VR esports titles, like optimal weapon reloading in Onward or throwing a digital frisbee at the perfect angle in Echo Arena. Blaston takes this to the next level. Players who mastered the game mechanics over time discovered how their optimal real-life movements and dodges could secure victories in the virtual realm.
This unique movement system added a new dimension to gameplay and had the unintended benefit of virtually eliminating motion sickness for players, giving Blaston an exceptional edge.
Following its release, Blaston continued to expand as a game alongside its growing community. Through updates new features were introduced such as, a social hub for players, alternate game modes, in-game tournaments, and a constant stream of new weapons and content, each introducing fresh mechanics to the game.
The Power of Community: Blaston's Vibrant Player Base
Now let's delve into what sets Blaston apart from other games—the vibrant community that surrounds it.
The Three Content Kings
At the start, Blaston had a supportive community of content creators who played a pivotal role in building a community around the game. Three notable figures made significant contributions to Blaston's identity in distinct ways. WudiPlays approached the game as a fitness app and sport and focused on viewing the game as a form of martial art. BabySpine, with a background in other esports games, focused on showcasing the game and weapon statistics. Through their guide videos, IGoldenKnight (IGK) elevated the community's understanding of techniques and combos.
These influential figures, alongside others, paved the way for aspiring players. Initially, they served as role models on the in-game leaderboards, and later players rooted for them in community-run tournaments and show matches. Both WudiPlays & BabySpine used Blaston as a tool for their fitness transformations as well and shared their progress on Reddit.
The Tournament Organizers
Content creators and the community took the initiative to organize early tournaments and events, spearheaded by individuals like Dr. Oolong, who continuously hosted numerous tournaments throughout the game's lifespan. Other notable contributors include VR League Italia (now Omnium XR), International Metaverse League, as well as top players and community members like Slowyd and Captain Fabulous, who hosted tournaments and later managed the Blaston section of the VR Master League.
The Dominant Players
Remember when we mentioned players who stood above the rest? Blaston's deep mechanics make it incredibly challenging to master, inevitably producing formidable players who seem unbeatable. Initially, the top spots on the in-game leaderboards were dominated by content creators like Wudi, IGK, and BabySpine along with other top players. However, over time, new players emerged and established themselves as dominant forces. Few have been able to defeat players like Jjjosie19 (US), 24 (US), Tesseract (UK), and Montybann (UK). You can observe their prowess just by checking Blaston's esports earnings page, which provides a glimpse into tournament results, showcasing the high level of competition in the game.
Distinct Playstyles
Throughout its lifespan, Blaston has experienced continuous changes in its meta, driven by the introduction of balancing, new weapons, and attachments. This dynamic evolution has given rise to diverse playstyles among players, showcasing distinct themes and strategies. An intriguing aspect of Blaston is how avatars mirror the height and body measurements of their real-life counterparts, which further influences individual playstyles.
A satire video created by myself showing some of the playstyles found in Blaston. The end section contains actual clips from players showcasing their playstyles.
This can be observed at the end of the 'Types of Blaston Players' video (starting at 1:24). In it, players like 24 demonstrate a strong emphasis on combining weapons to create challenging situations, showcasing impeccable movement skills, and even utilizing floor-based maneuvers to evade damage. On the other hand, players like BountyxSnipe adopt a fast-paced playstyle with quick burst plays and energetic movements. Finally, WudiPlay's approach focuses more on mastering the game's fundamentals, honing the ability to predict opponent patterns and movements.
High-Level Mechanics
Just like Starcraft: Brood War and Super Smash Bros. Melee, learning the intricate mechanics and movement optimization in Blaston is crucial for success in the game. One notable technique is "Drop Blocking", where players strategically drop their weapon to use it as cover against incoming projectiles. Seasoned players possess the knowledge and timing to execute this maneuver effectively, minimizing damage taken.
Another technique, "Juggling", capitalizes on the limited weapon slots and cooldowns in Blaston. Players like WudiPlays and Jjjosie19 showcase their skill by deftly juggling weapons, allowing them to activate multiple abilities simultaneously, gaining an advantageous edge in combat.
Jjjosie19 juggling three nades in the finals of the VR Summer Games.
Another unique aspect of Blaston as well is the Curve mechanic. Certain weapons enable players to curve bullets (yes, like the Wanted movie). By adjusting the speed and angle of their weapon swing before firing, skilled players can fire projectiles with unexpected and precise trajectories, catching opponents off guard and dealing significant damage.
By refining these techniques and harnessing the game's mechanics, players can gain a competitive advantage, showcasing the depth and strategic possibilities offered by Blaston.
The Challenges and Growth of Competition
Over the years, Blaston has become a mainstay in VR competition, but the journey hasn't been easy. The community has faced challenges and has been forced to learn from dubious events to get where it is today. The game was launched in late 2020, right at the beginning of the pandemic. This posed various obstacles to the game and community's growth, with VR arcades shutting down and in-person esports events being canceled. However, with the release of Quest 2 and people being forced to stay at home, an online scene was built instead. Online grassroots tournaments played a significant role in the game's growth as well.
A significant milestone became when Blaston was announced to be a part of the VR Summer Games 2021, a Virtual Athletics League-hosted event. This marked the first official esports tournament in partnership with Resolution Games, attracting 107 registrants split into the "Open" and "Premiere" player brackets.
This is also where the Blaston Spectator was introduced. Here players could now watch matches from multiple camera angles and broadcast their own matches, which enhanced the viewing experience. The tournament finals received great attention, appearing on the front page of Twitch and attracting between 1400 and 2000 concurrent viewers. It became one of the most-watched VR Esports tournaments of 2021, generating numerous memorable moments and establishing itself as a major tournament for the game.
Gameplay highlights from the VAL VR Summer Games 2021.
Establishing Leagues & Championships
In the first half of 2022, following the independently hosted VR Winter Games by Virtual Athletics League, Resolution Games partnered with VR Master League to establish the game's first official esports circuit. The circuit began with an invitational to showcase the game, followed by the inaugural season. This structure united the competitive community, engaging players and content creators as competitors, casters, and tournament organizers.
Writers Note: As someone who has worked with esports and mainly supported and observed the community from the ‘outside’, it’s always been interesting to me to see how a lot of the people involved in VR esports have no connection at all to ‘regular’ esports. Esports has had a long road of learnings and failures, and VR esports, including Blaston, seems to have skipped all of these learnings to start from scratch. In some regards, VR esports feels to me like esports were back in the 2006-2008 era of absolutely no money or sponsorships, and tournaments often run by people with a huge deal of passion, but sometimes a significant knowledge gap, usually resulting in some suboptimal scenarios and lower quality presentations in live broadcasts.
Besides the ‘gamers’ in VR esports, there are plenty of people that get into it with a background in regular sports. This to me makes it clear why when you look at a VRML broadcast as an example, the setup and graphics remind you more of what you’d imagine the NFL or NBA do, rather than what Blast, ESL, or GSL does for their live streams of games.
Towards the end of Season 01 of the VR Master League for Blaston, the Blaston Championship was unveiled. With a $10,000 prize pool (plus an additional $1,000 for the Last Chance Qualifier) directed towards the North American and European regions, this tournament became one of the largest in scale. Players accumulated points through the ranked mode, weekly in-game ladder challenges, and community-sanctioned tournaments, leading to the regional finals event.
The unveiling of the Blaston Championship in the form of a format explainer video.
The finals were a celebration within the community, featuring commentary from renowned figures like James Chen and UltraDavid from the fighting game community. The tournament showcased a mix of skilled players including content creators, top-ranked players, and the dominant competitors who solidified their status at the top, competing for the prize money live on Twitch.
Highlights from the Blaston Championship finals event.
In late 2023 after a short break from competitions, it was announced that Blaston would transition from a premium game model ($9.99 initially, then $19.99) to a free-to-play one, with the aim to expand its accessibility and player base. Simultaneously, the 2nd season of VRML was announced, which would culminate in the first-ever in-person Blaston matches, live on a stage, at VRML Con in Denver, Colorado.
Following a spring full of intense matches and a challenging playoff stage, the dominating players once again secured the four spots to compete at the event. Representing the North American region were 24 and Jjjosie19, while Tesseract and Montybann represented Europe.
Although the event may not have achieved remarkable viewership numbers, it held significant importance for the community, serving as an opportunity for players to meet for the first time and celebrate the game together.
The story of Blaston is not yet over, and competition in VR is still in some regards getting started. VR as a whole is still in the early stages, and the potential for games on this platform and their communities is immense. In this short amount of time, we have witnessed remarkable achievements that could reshape our perception of digital competitions, both in the present and as a captivating chapter in history.
As for Blaston, I’m proud to have been able to support it and observe it along the way, and I’m still excited for what’s to come when thinking about the future of esports.
Background & Context
Pictured: Me, in a Meta Quest Pro headset in a trailer for the AR game Spatial Ops.
In case you're wondering why I'm so invested in this story, I worked as a Community Manager for Blaston at Resolution Games for 2.5 years until about a month ago, when the company unexpectedly laid me off along with many others.
Blaston was the first game I worked on at the company, and it became deeply intertwined with my identity. During my time there, I made it my personal mission to provide unwavering support to the game and its community to the best of my abilities.
As you may have gathered from the wording, my extreme dedication may not have been the healthiest choice, but I have no regrets. In addition to my community work during the day, I sometimes went beyond my expected responsibilities. I took on tasks such as producing, hosting, broadcasting, and even single-handedly managing the entire finals event of the VAL Summer Games on a laptop when I realized the organizers lacked the expertise to do so. I met with key community members outside of work whenever possible. And when it was publicly revealed that the game would test ad implementation, I found myself at the center of perhaps the largest meltdown ever witnessed in a VR game community. For about a week straight, I attempted to manage the situation day and night.
There have been numerous moments that deeply connected me to this community, and I am grateful for the opportunities I had to do so. I also feel a sense of sadness that my journey with Blaston unexpectedly ended the way it did. I repeatedly tried to pitch the story and history of Blaston and its competitive community to one of my favorite YouTube channels, Akshon Esports, but after being ignored and receiving no responses for years, I realized I might have to publish it myself. Perhaps there is room for a video version of it someday. Only time will tell.
To me, writing this piece felt necessary as I have been intricately connected with the game and its members for quite some time. For better or worse, it will likely become a core memory for me as I move forward.
So with that said, thank you for taking the time to read my story, and I hope you have a wonderful day.
The Return of Swedish Esports?
This weekend, it was announced that the Swedish National Sports Association (Riksidrottsförbundet) voted to officially include the Swedish Esports Association (Svenska E-sportsförbundet) in its list of associations.
This may not sound very significant without context. From an outside perspective, due to Sweden’s rich history and connections to competition in games, one could be led to believe that the country and its government support esports to the full extent. While it is true that Sweden has left a big footprint on esports in many ways (events, teams, players, games, companies, services, etc.), Sweden has never actually recognized esports on a government level.
People who reside in more capitalist societies than Sweden could respond with ‘Why does it matter?’, however in a socialist country like Sweden, this means a lot. Let me give you an extremely brief historic summary, then what the change means in practice before I give my take on it, and finally my hopes for this change.
The Background
In the late 90s, the Swedish government recognized the strength of the internet and digitalization. With this, a lot of focus was put on building the internet infrastructure, as well as allowing the anyone to take a part of their salary to get a home computer at a discount - basically to ensure that as many people as possible would convert to a more digital way of life. Now you add this to a country that has quite a high ratio of recognized creatives and competitors in various fields, in a place in the world where most of the year is spent inside to hide from cold and darkness. While overly simplified, I don’t think it’s hard to imagine with these conditions that there are grounds for success in the 2000s that led to the country creating globally successful game companies (Grin, Avalanche, Dice, Paradox), as well as legendary esports teams (Ninjas in Pyjamas, Alliance, Lemondogs) and events (Dreamhack) which are still cherished today.
Since then Sweden have seen their fair share of success stories as well as failures throughout the years. While it has produced sometimes amazing results, one reality that has been harder to escape from, is that Sweden’s role and overall rank in esports on a global scale has declined severely in the last decade. Only 10 years prior, Swedish players dominated in Dota, Starcraft 2, and CSGO, with players in the top ranks in pretty much all other games. One could argue that it’s the rest of the world catching up, but another way to look at it is, why hasn’t Sweden continued to dominate in esports?
As one legendary esports caster once said “When ahead, get more ahead”, so why didn’t Sweden do just that?
The Issue
Remember the part about the government helping people to have a more digital life? While that is true, the Swedish government was also not too keen to then later recognize the fruits of their labor. As strong as the vision and push to put Sweden at the forefront of IT has been, it has never been able to compete with the strong and conservative culture of ‘regular’ sports. So as esports started to gain grounds for legitimacy across the world, in a country like Sweden, esports was just never recognized or supported in any way.
There are two points that I want to add for context here before moving forward.
In Swedish, there are two words for “sports”. One being “sport” the other being “idrott”. The first one is a word that leans more toward referring to general competitive activity, while the other carries a heavier element of physical activity. A simple example is that most Swedes would agree that curling or chess could be categorized as a “sport”, but not an “idrott”, whereas an “idrott” would be things more akin to hockey, football, etc.
While esports as a concept has not been recognized, Sweden still has a strong support system for emerging companies. Venture capitalism has led to some of the more successful stories in Sweden where companies have gotten their initial support boost to break through to a global audience.
Now we arrive at one of the main problems, in English, the National Sports Association is in Swedish called ‘Riksidrottsförbundet’. It sounds like a small problem, but this organization is the one that holds the key to unlocking support from the government for initiatives and projects, and it’s the organization that has helped in creating a strong culture around sports in the country. Due to the definitition of the word, and how the association is structured, this has led them to consistently exclude esports at every point. This has been super disappointing for Swedes into esports, as there are no real alternative. Personally, it’s not unrealistic to consider that they are one of the reasons why Sweden has had world-class level stars produced in sports like football, hockey, or tennis. Every city to a small town out in the forest has its own sports organization. Even my own hometown Ösmo, consisting of 20,000 people had teams in several sports categories with it being the main form of community for a lot of people living there.
Without national recognition, the esports organizations in Sweden have come and gone with only a few surviving for very long. Most of them have been funded by venture capitalist investments or sponsorships by mostly gambling companies. This has meant that the wheel of growth in esports in the country has basically just been spinning in place since we peaked 10 years ago. Teams, services, and broadcast productions, have desperately been trying to figure out ways to fund themselves throughout, but almost all of them have failed to do so at some point.
The association has put the Swedish Esports Association up for a vote of inclusion to its body several times and every time it has been denied - up until today.
The Challenge
All right, enough babbling about Sweden history. What does it mean now that esports has been recognized? Here are some of my predictions:
Events and esports organizations will be able to join the association a member organization and apply for funding support for their initiatives.
Organizations who join the association as a member should put some requirements on in terms of quality which may lead to less toxic and unstable companies.
The National Sports Association is a non-profit organization which should help in making a stable foundation for esports overall and avoid relying on venture capital.
The National Sports Association is a respected and influential group on a national level, which can help transform how esports is treated in Sweden at large.
If this initiative is successful, it’s not unlikely to see old sports organizations joining in on esports at some point similar to France and Spain.
Dispite its somewhat declining rank, Sweden is still regarded as a leader in esports. This recognition could have a ripple effect and moviate associations in other countries.
So everything is all fine and dandy right? Well, with change comes challenges, and some of those challenges will be pretty difficult to undertake. Again some predictions:
It’s up to the people to join the association and actively partake in it to grow and fund it. With venture capitalism rampant in esports, will people choose the long-term path, or continue to spin the wheels for a quick cash out?
Getting businesses, schools and sports organizations in on the esports action can significantly grow the foundation of it, but Sweden isn’t exactly known to be speedy when it comes to these sectors on a large scale. How will the association be able to get all of these parties together for a unified cause?
Recognizing esports on this level is great, but what counts as an esport and what happens when an esport dies? Sure, some like to say that ‘Counter-Strike has been around for 20 years’, and sports ‘have player trends’ (post-pandemic padel anyone?), but just imagine; What if there’s a national league, for say League of Legends, and then Riot for some reason goes defunct and shuts down the game and servers which makes the game unplayable. Venture capitalist esports companies die every year, but what happens if you have a country with community leagues for kids in a small place like Ösmo - and suddenly the plug is pulled for everyone?
The Take
For anyone reading this, you might be asking yourself at this point, why you should even care what I have to say about this. To some degree, I’d agree with you that my lack of references on this page would probably make my game designer professor from Uni cry and shake his fist in the air.
I’m someone who’s been passionate about esports since I’ve been a kid. Like many others, it was what made me go from a very introverted kid to someone who wants to connect with others. I was someone who hated physical sports growing up, so it’s something that carries a deeply personal value for me. A major component that I love about esports is how it showcases a player’s mind, and expression, and in team games, how they can sync up with others to make stunning plays.
For me, I’ve always looked outside the fold when it comes to what games to play. I never really competed in Counter-Strike like the other kids, I instead weirdly tried to become the best in Team Fortress 2. When my friends started playing Call of Duty, I would instead watch the Starcraft broadcasts from South Korea. So for me, and especially post-pandemic, I’ve been extremely bored of esports in Sweden as it has centered around the games which have succeeded in either venture capitalism or gambling (CSGO), exist only as an extension or illusion of real sports (FIFA, eSHL) or scenes heavily funded by game developers to create a local interest (R6, RL, LoL).
I spent years trying to support the smaller esports communities, which often aligned with fighting games, as they’ve always been more focused on community and prestige rather than money and the big stages. I’ve competed in countless smaller esports games and organized tournaments in games ARMS, Lethal League Blaze, Mario Tennis, with the main goal to bring people together to compete and have fun.
I don’t think the association will magically create a world where my type of games will be valued more, but I hope that the type of communities I’ve found in these games is something I can see more of in the mainstream esports titles. In a perfect world, I would prefer if esports wasn’t always about the prize pools and sponsors, but instead about the players and their community. This goes for companies too. I value the time that I worked in esports, but if recognizing esports at a national level will give hyper-capitalist esports services less of an important role in this, then I’m all for it.
There have been some good times were I’ve been able to either compete or commentate esports in various titles! Right now I’m currently looking for a job within marketing in games and esports however. If you’re looking to hire, check out my LinkedIn profile, or go to my about page for more info!
Final note: This is 100% an opinion piece, and just a way for me to express my thoughts and emotions on this subject. My intention is not to spread any form of misinformation. If anyone reads this and finds something that is completely incorrect, please let me know so that I can correct it.
Gamkin Logo Animation: Final Results!
After the last post I asked friends and twitter friends for help with voice acting the group that would say the slogan...
Note: This post was made back in 2017. However, back then I was told to remove the posts due to copyright reasons. Since the company has been defunct for several years, I decided to re-publish this blog post.After the last post, I asked friends and Twitter friends for help with voice acting the group that would say the slogan. For the font of the slogan, I chose clear and bold text in English and a more handwritten style in Japanese one. Once I had voice lines from about 8 people, I put all of the voices together, synced and mastered the sounds in Audacity, and put them in the video.
I experimented with having different people say different words, but in the end, it felt like everyone talking at once added to the sense of the group mentality. This is to counteract the individual spotlight, which might not be that popular in Japan.
※ Short - 00:02:28 Seconds
※ Medium - 00:03:40 Seconds
※ Long - 00:06:30 Seconds
Gamkin Logo Animation: Making Of
I was tasked at Gamkin to remake the company's website, and shortly after sketching out the layout for the page I decided I wanted to amplify the company's message and logotype with a short intro animation...
Note: This post was made back in 2017. However, back then I was told to remove the posts due to copyright reasons. Since the company has been defunct for several years, I decided to re-publish this blog post.I was tasked at Gamkin to remake the company's website, and shortly after sketching out the layout for the page, I decided I wanted to amplify the company's message and logotype with a short intro animation. In this post, I'll walk through the creative thought process and the steps I took to make the following animation and its variations, from start to finish. If you have a short attention span like me you can also just scroll through the post and look at all of the GIFs and videos.
Preface - Previous Works
Before starting I want to mention that I have very little experience with actually creating these things, which is part of why I wanted to show this process.
I've self-taught myself in Premiere Pro but have only recently started using After Effects. Here are three intro animations that I've made for my private Youtube channel:
Now the first one is simply straight up ripped from a After Effects template where I just switched out the text (which as I recall was super confusing for 14 year old me). I made the second one when I was 16 in Sony Vegas, which is obvious for me now that it has a lot of limitations as I could basically only play around with Position, Rotation, Scale and Opacity of things. The last one I made last year in a AirBnB room in about 1 hour with Premiere Pro. While perhaps poor in quality it also shows much you can push the envelope by using Scale and Speed Curves (shifting the speed of which things moves and changes).
After this I have started using After Effects more, and it's probably something I can't turn my back on now when I've seen what it's capable of doing with very little time. So if you're only working with Premiere Pro, I really recommend you to test After Effects out.
One thing to note with these intros are their length. Both the first and the second are about 10 seconds while the third one is 7, but with the last one I actually shorted it down to 1 second as can be seen in my video '🕹️ Playing【MUSECA】- Capitalism Cannon'. While there might not be a correct length for all setups, I feel like when it comes to shorter videos (under 10 minutes) then the title should be as short as possible, around 3 seconds max. Longer ones could be used but if so, I feel like it needs more of a reason than 'That's how I like it', since a lot of people click out of videos very early on. That's why I think the first two are annoyingly long compared to my latest one.
Getting Started - Gathering the Pieces
The old version of the GAMKIN logotype
When I began had the logotype and the instruction of making the logo feel like the old Japanese console startup animations. It also went without saying that the animation should fit with the company's color profile, slogan and general theme.
Color Profile: Orange, Blue and White
Company Name: GAMKIN, INC (GAMKIN is a combination of the words 'Games' and 'Kinship')
Slogan: Talk Together, Create Together, Play Together, Learn Together.
Theme: Minimalistic, Clean, Casual
All right from this information alone you can tell a lot of things. It's doesn't need any fancy 3D CGI and it doesn't have to look like a cut-scene, it just have to be clean and simple, but still adding the extra flavor of somehow combining the joy of games together with the kinship's which they bring. Great!
Research - Looking at Old and New
A lot of the employees are Japanese and above 30 or 40 years old so it's only natural that a lot, if not everyone at the company has a lot of rosy memories of the old school startup screens. For me the one I spent most time with was the Playstation 1 Startup and the Gameboy/Gameboy Color Startup. But there is also logotypes specific for games such as the Tony Hawks Pro Skater 2 Intro or one of the latest Valve Intros which have been used in multiple games.
Since I'm not too familiar with older console startup screens I had to venture to that section of Youtube and watch some videos. There I found the gem Console Startup Screens 1985-2013 which contained a lot of good ones. I also saw the PSP Startup which had completely forgotten both how it sounded and looked like.
These are simple steps of ideas I had for how to reveal the different parts of the logo with motions. And yes, you probably can't read anything because I write with very tiny letters.
Sketching & Brainstorming
Usually when I make something visual I like to draw and write things on paper. Weather it's when planning a video, photo. logotype or level. It's not necessary and usually doesn't look anything like the final version, but it helps me to put vague thoughts into something that can actually be transferred into the digital world. It also helps me get started. before I drew this for example I had a hard time picturing how animating the logotype could look like.
First Try
As the logotype is rather stale being only made by letters and having no actual figures or mascots I wanted to breathe more life into it. The first step in this for me was to split up the logotype in different parts to reveal them separately, and then work my way around that.
To start of I wanted to keep that old school feeling, and what is more old school than pixelated junk? Well, using the Mosaic filter that's not a problem. So I thought I might start with that combined with a white wipe (barely noticible in the GIF though).
Since no one I've met has ever made the connection of GAMKIN being a fuse of GAMES and KINSHIP I wanted to highlight this further (sidenote: everyone keeps pronouncing it like 'Gamekin', like some sort of gamer alien). I wanted to do this in a sort of playful way so I wanted the 'Games & Kinship' part to stretch and bounce to reveal GAMKIN, with the GK falling from above next to them, making the rest of text jiggle from the impact.
Retrospect - First Try
You can see I stopped after the first motions because I thought it looked cheap overall. I also could tell that the amount of motions would pile up and make it feel too long. Although long logotypes were a trend back in the day, it's something that frustrated me so I wanted to keep the time down for this and moved on to another version. A good example of frustrating unskippable intro cut screens can be found in the Deus Ex Mankind Divided Startup (this one has glitched out colors, but you can see the length of the animations and startup)
Second Try
This time I wanted to make everything just shorter in general. When making the first try I also noticed that I didn't really have an interesting way to introduce the GK part of the logotype, so I started thinking about how I could make that part specifically to be more appealing. So I tried to make it more interesting by revealing it like a drop in water. I also added sound effects.
Retrospect - Second Try
First of all, yes that ding sound is annoying. While it kind of felt old school, it still felt cheap. I thought this is something that I could fix afterwards, but then I came to think of something. Having the 'GK' revealed last doesn't really add to anything.
When I first present the text 'GAMKIN: GAMES & KINSHIP' it's already telling everything there is to the logo. So when the 'GK' comes in at the end it's just kind of solidifying what's already known. Which made me want to scrap this one and reverse the order of the reveal.
Third and Final Try
One thing I have no shame in admitting is how much I use tutorials. They're essential to my creating process. I use them both for learning techniques but I also pick them a part and combine the pieces to create something new. I see a lot of people who straight up rip templates (which I also did when I was 14), but for someone who knows what to look for this can look incredibly stupid. When I see it I think that the creator either is thinking that I'm too stupid to notice, or that the creator is lazy and just bought or ripped some random template to create a fake illusion of professionalism.
Here's the thing though, if you can get away with it, that's good. Then you've respect me, the viewer, and you successfully created an illusion of professionalism. Like CGI is supposed to do. You also combine two things to create something new, that's awesome. If you can get away with it, please continue with it. But if you get caught, it will cost you. Either viewers, trust, or even money if it's really stupid obvious.
Moving I still felt a bit stuck on the reveal of the 'GK'. After looking at some tutorials though I came across the Liquid Motion Effect which I thought could work for the 'GK'. I realized pretty quickly I didn't want to involve other colors so I decided to do the effect twice which would then smash together. This in my opinion would symbolize the "Games & Kinship" getting together, also the circular motion of the line reminded me a bit about the Ying Yang harmony structures as well. After that, I decided to keep the rest simple and reveal it with a masked horizontal wipe with added motion blur.
For the sound, I was trying to look for something human sounding, like the Nintendo Switch sound (which basically just snaps with reverb). So I took a bottle pop sound and put reverb on it. Then when it lands I mixed a low-pitched Mario Jump sound with a droplet in water for the impact.
The last up was to sell the impact of the paint hitting the logo. I did this simply by adding a bit of scale bouncing (normal, down, up, normal), almost like a button, and adding a glow effect that fades away as it completes. Then considering the sound cue of the droplet I added expanding rings that fade out behind it like something hitting water.
Mastering - Sound / Effects
Now that I had this completed I showed the video to my friends and contacts who I trust to give me an honest critique. This is really important to me because in all things I make I tend to become a little blind to flaws when I look at something too long. Maybe there is a flaw that I've thought about, but I either forget about it, or I can't really tell if it's only something that I can see or a glaring mistake for others.
When doing this a lot of people were saying that the logo looked good in general (good thing I didn't show the first tries), but that it might've been a bit too fast as you can really tell some of the effects. My good friend Joachim Persson told me about the '12 Principles of Animation' and echoed something that another one also stated which was to exaggerate the scaling of the 'GK'. So I did that, not too much but a little more.
I also changed the sound a little. I lowered the loud jump so it would have a similar max as the bottle pop sound and added reverb to it so it didn't sound as flat. I also added a short wind effect after the pop sound to add more depth to it. It's barely noticeable, but for me who listened to it way too much I was really happy with the result.
Variations -Main, Shorter & Longer
In the beginning of the post I was talking about the lengths of my previous different intros which in seconds were 10, 10 and 7 (or 3). When thinking of these constrictions from the beginning I managed to get my main animation to be about 3-4 seconds. Now I wanted to challenge myself a bit and see if I could have a shorter and a longer version of it, just to give my company more choices but also make the branding seem more dynamic. For instance, the main one could be used for trailers, a longer one could be used for a website, company related videos and the short one could be for small updates.
For the short one I just cut out the last part of the 'GK' moving and revealing the text, while keeping the same sound effects.
With the longer one I didn't just wanted to add length, but add to the message somehow. What better way to do this than to incorporate the company slogan;
Talk Together, Create Together, Play Together, Learn Together.
仲間と好きなことを語って、作って、遊んで、学んで。
Since it's a bit long and repetitive I decided to shorten it down to;
Talk, Create, Play, Learn
語って、作って、遊んで、学んで。
But adding the text seemed a bit empty, so in true Japanese 'team spirit' marketing fashion, why not have a bunch of people read the slogan in sync with the animation?
Final Result
I'm still gathering the voice clips, so I will save the final results for the next post!
Since this is the first time writing about this kind of stuff, I'm unsure of how interesting how this was for anyone else.
If you have any opinions, or thoughts or challenges with creating title animations, please tell me! I'd love to talk!
Also feel free to leave a comment, subscribe to the blog or send me a message on the social links below!
Emotion in Motion
During one of Tokyos first warm nights of the year, I met Cody. Currently known as the creator of DERIVE under the username @CBJE_Tokyo on Twitter and Instagram. This time I tagged along on one of his many adventures capturing the cyberpunk aesthetics of the capital...
During one of Tokyo's first warm nights of the year, I met Cody. Currently known as the creator of DERIVE under the username @CBJE_Tokyo on Twitter and Instagram. We've met several times before to discuss projects and what to do with the time one has in Tokyo. This time I tagged along on one of his many adventures capturing the cyberpunk aesthetics of the capitol.
I love exploring this city, and this night made me feel like I got some new perspectives on things. Both figuratively and literally as we ascended the shady looking staircases stowed away in dark corners and alleyways. After reaching the top we gazed down onto - and studied - the metropolis with its busy streets.
Thanks for the inspiration Cody.
Whenever I get back to Tokyo, I'll be sure to climb those roofs again.
Citrus Adventures in Ehime
One of my last planned ventures before leaving Japan was to visit the city of Matsuyama in the south prefecture Ehime just south of Hiroshima. It was a weekend that was overflown with impressions of all kinds, and took some time for me to comprehend what actually happened...
One of my last planned ventures before leaving Japan was to visit the city of Matsuyama, in the prefecture of Ehime, just south of Hiroshima. Me and my girlfriend went there to relax explore and visit her grandmother. It was a weekend that was overflowning with impressions of all kinds, and it took a couple of days before I could fully comprehend what happened. As always, the text is just me blabbering on, so if you prefer, you can just scroll and check out the pictures. Just click on the picture or on the thumbnails below to see the next one!
※ Day 1
Our destination was quickly reached after a short flight and quick bus ride. Then once being in town, we headed straight for Matsuyama Castle, and it instantly felt like a lot things were timing really well for us. There weren't too many people in town, the cherry trees were in full blossom, light showers of rain were coming and going and the weather was neither too hot nor too cold. It was 'lagom' (just enough), as one would say in Swedish.
Going up the mountain to the castle, we took the option of going up via rope-way, and already we hit one of our first highlights during the trip. It was slow and relaxing, and the view was magnificent. The castle was surrounded with the cherry blossoms, and once we reached the top we took our time to just sit around and take everything in (as well as snapping some new good profile pictures). A Mikan and Cherry flavored ice-cream later, we went through the maze-like castle and fortunate as we were, there was an almost full samurai armor that one could try on in one of the rooms.
After the blast to the past we walked around the cozy shopping streets for a bit before heading to were we would be staying for the night. My girlfriends grandmother had gone all in with the dinner, and there was enough food to house double the amount of people attending. Yet somehow we managed to eat almost everything after around 4 hours, with my mind numbing from the strong drinks and attempting to follow the fast paced Japanese dialogue. Needless to say, I had no problem going to sleep after that.
※ Day 2
Waking up surprisingly not hungover at all, me and my girlfriend went early into town to catch a pre-booked bus which had been bough earlier, courtesy of the grandmother. Before the trip I had suggested biking around Matsuyama as it was close to the sea. But when looking at the tickets I noted that the bus ride would take around 2 hours and realized that I probably didn't follow the details of the discussion the night before as well as I thought. The tickets were already booked and bought however, so away we went.
When we arrived at our destination, Shin-Onomichi, we thought at first that we had made a mistake as we were now finding ourselves in a tiny town with the main attraction being having a station for the Shinkansen trains. Inside the nearly empty station there was a tourist bureau with a lady that was very excited to talk to us. We learned from her that we needed to go to Onomichi to get to so called "good shit", so we did just that.
The short bus-ride reminded me heavily of my home town, and the neighboring "city" which worked as a hub for the people in the area. Similarly to the hub near my home town, it was centered around the docks where there were stores with confused tourists and tons of locals relaxing, chatting and dressing up to put themselves up for display for each other.
We found the bike rental nearby and got onto a ferry to set out on our journey for the islands.
Making our way through the first island in a modest pace I was mesmerized by the views. I can't really put it into words other than it felt perfect. It was the right time of the year, the right weather and I was together with the one I care for the most. As we were on a time-limit to head back to Matsuyama, we decided then and there that we wanted to return to this place and bike an entire day someday, without restrictions or stress. The later being being something we hit head on. This as we realized after some hours that we suddenly had to cover a fourth of our trip in 20 minutes in order to make it to the ferry that would connect to the last bus back to Matsuyama. Somehow, biking like madmen, we managed to speed ourselves to the docks were I would hear the horn of the ferry as it approached the station. After getting a quick tip on where to go by an old lady in a car, we made it onto the ferry as the last passengers. When arriving back in Onomichi, we drank a victory latte and slept on the bus back to Matsuyama once the adrenaline had settled down.
As we got back to the Matsuyama, we checked into the towns luxury hotel (made possible and affordable by the free flight tickets provided earlier) and ate a full dinner at fancy, but empty, Japanese-Italian restaurant. We ended the day by utilizing the open air bath house before crashing into our bed for our final day.
※ Day 3
When we woke up we dug into a nice breakfast with too many options. One could also get different kinds of coffee, the Americano in being labeled "Weak Coffee" in English the though of which still makes me chuckle.
Later on we met up with my girlfriends aunt and grandmother and went a classic Japanese restaurant which had different kinds of fresh Mikan juice available on tap. 'Mikan' being the grouping name of the many sweet citrus fruits that are grown and harvested locally in the prefecture. We would be reminded of this as we would see the fruit being used in every conceivable way throughout the city in food, snacks, drinks, toys, and with several mascots. One even coming in second in the national "Cutest Japanese Mascot Competition". Yes really.
Afterwards we walked down one of the old roads with merchandise shops and a huge Onsen at the end, with the grandmother proudly explaining the history of the city. We eventually caved after seeing to many cute things and bought some souvenirs, and we even got some extra local made sweets to take with us home.
Being driven to the airport with 20 minutes before arrival, the grandmother turns around and tells us that she needed help with inspiration for a few haikus. Doing my best I managed to jot down 3 blots of text which my girlfriend translated on a piece of paper.
Hopefully they were of some help.
What is ※ Defur?
One of the more common questions received - and for me thought about - is the meaning behind my nickname and the recent change, so I decided to write a bit about it...
One of the more common questions received - and for me thought about - is the meaning behind my nickname and the recent change. Originally I wrote about 3000 words about the nicknames I've had throughout my life, and what they've meant to me. After going through the post, I felt like the message that I wanted to put forward now somehow got lost in the number of words I put out.
I decided to redo the text and ask myself the question once more, "What is ※ Defur?".
※ What is "DEFUR"?
This has always been something hard for me to answer since it's been a nickname that I've carried since before I was a teenager. The simple reason of how it came to be was when I was making my first online account on a Harry Potter forum and not being able to think of anything. After thinking briefly I just putting letters together from alphabet like a puzzle "a... b... c... D... E... F" and finally adding an UR to make "Defur". In other words, the name doesn't have any meaning, but it's also why I like it. I want to give its meaning. It's not referring to anything, or is a secret acronym, its just a word for me.
Growing up with this nickname, I've been using it on all my accounts for games and forums. Eventually it was a something that would become a part of me. Except the obvious upsides of almost no one in the entire world sharing the name, people would start to connect the name with me as a person. At a point when I played games very intensively, I had more people calling me "Defur" than my real name.
In short terms; Does the name have a meaning? Yes and no. It has no original meaning or origin, but the name carries and embodies the personality, visions and goals of myself.
※ What is "※"?
The mark "※" is known as Komejirushi (米印) and is casually abbreviated as 'kome' for its likeness to the kanji for rice "米" (with "印" or 'Shirushi' meaning sign/symbol).
It's an asterisk used in Japan and Korea and has a surprisingly well formulated description of it in its short Wikipedia article which states "It is used to call attention to an important sentence or thought, like a prologue or footnote".
I first saw this mark when I started working in Japan, and I was intrigued by its simple aesthetics. It was merely used in the bullet point lists for our meetings but the imagery of the mark somehow got stuck in my mind. Whenever I would walk around in Tokyo I would occasionally see it on signs, and one day when talking with an acquaintance about the use of Emoji's on Twitter, we would both agree on the appeal of the kome-mark.
As for me and right now, I'm not sure what I want to do with my life. I'm at another crossroad, with no route looking like the other. It's something that has happened time and time again when one chapter in my life is closing, and another one eventually opens. The only consistent part of me throughout these times, is that I keep creating things. Sure, the tools change, and the medium gets switched out now and then. But I'm always creating. Often when I do, it's because I want to express something. May it be a thought, statement or even a feeling.
When I'm creating I feel like the things that I come up with often are visualized like bullet point lists. Things to do in structured manner. Things which categorizes and highlights different parts of my thoughts and feelings.
As such, I am ※ Defur.
The Charm of Fika
Today I went to the Tokyo Coffee Festival held in Aoyama Farmers Market in Shibuya. As I've gotten more into coffee lately and have been gaining interest for the culture surrounding it, I decided to go...
Shot by Dave Chang, Color edit by me
Today I went to the Tokyo Coffee Festival held in Aoyama Farmers Market in Shibuya. I had only spotted it by accident when skimming through events near me. As I've gotten more into coffee lately and have been gaining interest for the culture surrounding it, I decided to go.
There were a lot of impressions to be taken in a relatively small space. Tiny setups with coffee and food with people slowly going between them, and a live jazz band playing in the background. Originally I had been nervous going to event as I was trying to organize 4 people to meet up, but everything just seemed to come together perfectly. There was no stress, just great weather, coffee and talking.
We followed the event by going to a nearby burger place and finished the day by going through Yoyogi Park. Only really being led by the moment and what we felt at the time. My weekends as of late has been very routine-like, and this experience worked as a great contrast to lift me up.
I think the part that I took with me, and something that I will definitely miss with Tokyo are these sorts of casual get-together days. Not the specific event, but the people and concept of just meeting and talking openly. It's also the core of what I love about Fika. Calmly listening and sharing, while taking in - and reflecting on - impressions, ideas, thoughts and tastes.
Man I'm feeling good right now.
A Weekend in North Chiba Pt.2
Awake from a good night of sleep, me and my girlfriend were left alone in the big house, as everyone in the community was preparing for the yearly Mochi Making festival...
※Day 2
The plum trees are finally blooming.
Walk, Talk and Mochi
Awake from a good night of sleep, me and my girlfriend were left alone in the big house, as everyone in the community was preparing for the yearly Mochi Making festival. We took our time to wake up, and when finally going down the stairs we were presented with a breakfast made for us while we were still fast asleep. I probably will never be able to get to the effort level of preparing an gorgeous breakfast consisting of fruits, fish, vegetables, rice and soup, so I was more than happy to dig in.
After the breakfast we took a walk around the neighbourhood and eventually made our way to the local Mochi Making festival. Mochi is a Japanese rice cake, which is made by putting boiled rice in a bowl where you pound it with water until it becomes rubbery paste. Afterwards, the paste is coupled and eaten with different ingredients like sweet red beans, soy flour or seaweed. The entire process of making Mochi is filled with teamwork, and it warmed my heart seeing all of these people of all ages getting together and creating something together.
Spontaneous Sake Drinking
Once we were done making and eating Mochi, we were surprised with another festival that was happening downtown to where we stayed. Unfortunately since I didn't really check map or anything, I'm not sure were we actually went. It didn't really matter to me at the time, which is why it felt so good, I was able to be in the moment.
This Festival was for sake, and as we approached the main streets with stands, people were walking home in the opposite direction. Some of them swaying a bit from the drinks as I would too, a few hours later. Walking amongst the stands the streets were packed, but not in the normal stressful-Tokyo-rush kind of way. Everyone was walking slowly by, just looking at things or talking to others. We managed to grab something to eat and we just silently sat and watched the others around us. This is something I love to do the most when not in Sweden. Just sitting and watching people when relaxed. Observing others behaviour. Old ladies huddling together to gossip, a child practicing running back and forth, a man sneakily pouring out his sake in a street well.
Shortly after we went into a sake factory where I managed to take two surprisingly cyberpunk photos which I really liked. Once that was done, and after some sake tasting we went back to the house once more.
Visiting A Haiku Master
One of the things that me and A had decided to do before I left, was to meet with her grandmother. An old but energetic woman who writes haiku poems. As she lives in the Ehime prefecture, south of Hiroshima we would need to book tickets and hotels. To us, as it is one of the last things I will do before leaving Japan, the whole plan had have this dark cloud surrounding it. It has reminded me and my girlfriend of our inevitable separation from each other. We had stalled the plans as long as possible, but now it came to a breaking point since it was getting late to order the tickets. So we decided we tell the parents about our plans.
When we did, we learned that we could get help with flight tickets! I had been assuming we would go by train which would take a large chunk of my last salary. Now however, we got to know that we could use the family's traveling points accumulated from previous business trips. Suddenly we had two free flight tickets to the south of Japan ordered. A place I've been dreaming of going to for about 6 months. Being as happy as we were, me and A decided to use the excess money we had planned for the train tickets for a luxury hotel instead.
Me never even setting foot inside of an any-star-hotel, was beyond words. I don't know how many times I said thank you, but I felt like I couldn't say it enough. I'm still grateful for it, and it came to be the unexpected, but perfect ending to what was already a great weekend.
One of the mothers souvenirs from Russia that I found very intriguing and strange.
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A Weekend in North Chiba Pt.1
Part 1 of the relaxing weekend I spent this visiting my girlfriends parents.
I spent this past weekend visiting my girlfriends parents.
We relaxed, talked, walked, made mochi and drank sake.
It came to be one of the best weekends I've had in Japan so far.
※ Day 1
A river separating the center of the town.
Exploring Sawara
First we went to Sawara (佐原), which is the closest city to where we would spend the night. It's a small and flat little urban area and it acts as a social and shopping hub for people in northern Chiba. It lays just next to the river which separates Chiba and Ibaraki and the setting was just perfect, the weather was getting warmer, the sun was out and people were just strolling about. There we would meet A's mother and explore the hub's main streets and shops.
This month the shop owners in Sawara were putting their Hina Dolls on display in their stores, following the Hinamatsuri (Doll's Day) that is celebrated yearly on the 3rd of March. There are various dolls but the one we saw were to represent the head representatives of the imperial family. Ohinasama being the female, and Odairisama being the male counterpart. The event is said to celebrate femininity, with families buying a set of dolls when a first daughter is born. The dolls then gets handed down to the generation and is carefully taken care of. I was previously unaware of this event and its meaning, ignorant as I was I only recognised the dolls, which I found quite creepy, from various media and the 'Japanese Dolls' Emoji (🎎). However, I was positively surprised by the events meaning, and happily followed along with A's mother who took a picture of each pair that we found, which would be added to her photography collection.
When walking around in the shops, we accidentally managed to join Japanese tourists on a guided tour of an old building. The shop's women of several generations welcomed us in with smiles, huddled together in front of a heater as an older man proudly presented their belongings. First in Japanese, then in English for me. As we got further in, he asked me were I was from and smiled brightly when I he heard the answer, "Ah Sweden! I've been there! It's beautiful, but cold, is it not?". After showcasing the backyard in full with its original well, toilets, walls and temple, we stepped back onto the street. As we did, I could hear the proud man behind me report to the women that a Swede had joined the tour with them audibly gasping, which made me chuckle a little. I love people who casually spread happiness like that.
Later after checking out some of the aged stores and buying some souvenirs we decided to take a break in an elegant and modern teahouse, hidden inside one of the older buildings. With the three of us craving coffee, almost sighed in chorus after being seated and the waitress apologetically emphasising that this was a teahouse. Nevertheless, as we lacked energy to find a new place, we decided to take a break and try their servings, with the sun gleaming in from outside. Then finally after stoppping to get a gift for the office and visiting the grandest one of local supermarkets, which sights reminded my very much of where I'm from, we headed back to the home for dinner.
Dinner Time
There is something special of getting welcomed into a old family home. It's different than going home to a friends place, it's different than visiting someone in a new apartment. It carries the love, weight and history of several lives. Every inch has it's own story, every dent or mark has it's accident, and there's this sense of relief when stepping in. The squeaky floors, the pictures on the walls, the dusty hard to reach places, all the clocks ticking in sync with each other.
Last time which was also the first time I had entered this house. Back then I was nervous and jittery. I didn't know what to expect, how to be treated or what was going to happen. As I've been switching places to live 4 times throughout my 1 year and 3 months in Japan, nothing has really felt like home. This isn't my home either, but the feeling comes really close.
We took the time to sit down and chat with each other in front of the gigantic TV. Then when the food was prepared, we dined in the diner room. My Japanese is still very limited and thinking that I have no other choice than to talk in Japanese often makes me inexplicably nervous. It's very strange someone who really enjoys babbling like me. It almost feels like I can't breathe. However, while sitting in front of the TV with the family, I wasn't worried. They knew me, and I knew them. We all knew the limitations of our language barriers, but we were ready to work together to go beyond them. The silliness of Japanese television also helped in between the silent pauses.
When sitting down to eat on the tatami floor, the father thankfully gave me an extra spare pillow, either from previous experiences with foreigners or remembering me being unable to sit in the Japanese style the last time I visited.
The food was fantastic and fresh. With all the finished lunch boxes and fast food I've been consuming lately, I almost feel like I've lost a basic reference for what food is supposed to be or look like. As It reminded me of smorgasbord (or smörgåsbord), which I haphazardly explained to everyone in my mix of Japanese and English.
As we sat there we talked about memories, relatives, haikus, culture differences, both me and girlfriends plans and our future, it struck me. I was using a lot more Japanese than I remembered I did the previous time, and when they talked, I now understood almost everything that they were saying as well. It was hard for me not to grin like an idiot after the realisation, which I excitedly told my girlfriend about after dinner.
Thank you.
※ Next post will cover the second day with more photographs! ※
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DefurInTokyo → ※ Defur
I changed my nicknames online as I am leaving Japan. In this post I wanted to take the time to write a bit about some of my thoughts about quitting my job as a game developer in Japan.
Going home from work.
I finally bit the bullet and decided to rename my profiles from DefurInTokyo to ※ Defur (or komeDefur) to accomodate for future events. I have been dreading this moment for about two months now after I came to the conclusion that I will no longer be residing in Tokyo.
To give a "too long; didn't read" of my story so far and where I am right now. I came to Tokyo in January of 2016 as a game developer intern for the Japanese game company GAMKIN, Inc. After being an intern for about 5-6 months, I became a contracted employee. As I got my Bachelor in Game Design & Project Management after the internship which is required for a working visa, there was a 2 months process to handle it. When finished I had my "Cultural Activites" visa switched to an "Engineer/Specialist in Humanities/Intelligence Services" visa. After that I worked as a normal employee until March of 2017 where I resigned.
Right now I'm not even sure what will happen in the near future. To be truly honest it makes me nervous, scared, happy and sad, even frustrated? all at once. There is so many emotions that have been packed into one lately, that I almost feel like a growing ballon, where the air sometimes lets itself out when I'm not ready.
I've written down all of the reasons for quitting my company in a document. However, I feel like publishing everything it would probably come back to haunt me in the future. Some reasons are fair, some are petty and written out in frustration, some highlight both my and the companies mistakes. Either way, I wanted to write a bit about my thoughts to share and for me to reflect upon.
Stopping outside a konbini.
One of the main reasons that I am leaving Tokyo now is because I've felt stuck. Usually feeling stuck now and then is normal in life, we can't always be pushing forward. At least the last part was something I kept telling myself. After a while, this feeling of being stuck started to kept me up many nights, kept me from leaving home when going to work which making me arrive late, it also made me frustrated over the short length of weekends during Sunday afternoons. It was the kind of thing that made me rush to the arcade on the lunches to practice one game over and over so I had something else to think about.
Eventually the thought started consuming me, and gradually started making me lose my energy. I started seeing people less, went to fewer events, stopped working on most of my side projects and also made me stop cooking at home. While this could be seen as the normal process after becoming a full time employee, it was the opposite of who I am, and it was changing at an alarming rate.
Why did I feel stuck?
Maybe it was because I lost my way of looking forward.
Build them up, break them down.
Last weekend I attended a story telling event where I told the story about one of my adventures when traveling in Japan. I prefaced the story by describing myself. I explained that I was the kind of person who tried to look into the future way to much, and never stopped to think of the present. It's a description that me and my close relatives have described me with for many years. After I said that out loud it stuck with me the entire weekend. It made me realise that some things about me have changed into something I don't like.
Lately I haven't been able to look forward at all. Which begs the question, if I'm a person who never thinks of the present, and now no longer thinks of the future, then what I am I? Just a clueless being floating about?
When thinking of my thoughts from the past few months they have mostly really been there to covering up my emotions and keeping them busy ("Wow look at this cool thing I did!", "Man I'm having so much fun right now"), while the truth has been following me around like Boo from Mario.
"You aren't ready for this. You are wasting your time."
- My Mind
Chin up, eyes forward.
Before coming to Tokyo, people would joke to me and tell me about the horror stories they've seen of Japanese work environments through various media. "They work super late!", "People never go home!", "You won't be able to do anything!". My University teacher jokingly told me that I probably wouldn't have more desk space than for a tiny laptop. I brushed these things of and didn't think that much about them. And most of these statements were things that I didn't really get to experience. I think this was something that eventually caught me of guard.
I was expecting a lot of things to just go wrong and be able to take care of them, but instead things crept up to me over time. They were subtle in a way that when I found out about something it could make me absolutely (de)furious, but I had no one to discuss it about, because it had already been settled. It could me me missing something in a meeting because of the language barrier, then at the day of the deadline I could be questioned about why things weren't done as discussed. Other things was not shown to me in a way that I wasn't sure if it was because if it was not related to me and my work, or if it was because I wasn't trusted with the information. Many times things like these made me feel powerless and outright stupid. Normally when facing trouble it makes angry first, then really hyped to actually learn and change something within myself. Here? It just sank in and weighted me down.
Me a year ago would say "Do whatever you want to do! You're talented and eventually you'll make it work, so stop worrying and just do what you want." then smile and give me a good ol' pat on the back. Now I think of these words with a hollow tone. Almost like my old self shouted it down a tunnel and the present me can only hear the faint echoes bouncing off the walls.
"Huh?... What was that?"
- My Decreasing Self Confidence
With these thoughts swirling about in my head, I eventually had enough and decided that if I continue like this, I will probably be (ghost in) a shell of what I was before I got here. Thought it is important to note that I do believe that I have learned a lot from this experience. and had many great moments. I've met some truly wonderful people, among them being the love of my life. I've gotten to see and be a part of things that would've been impossible in Sweden and that I've dreamt of as a teenager. I'm leaving now, but all of this has made me want to come back to Japan some day, with the condition that I should return with more power to make my own decisions. This by learning the language more, learning more of who I want to be, and get more experience to be able to create a life where in which I can be proud of who I am.
I look forward to that day.
Remaking Site & Current Projects
Currently remaking the entire site while its live, so until it's ready and I can make a before/after comparison, I thought I'd make some opening statements and let you know what I'm currently working on...
Version 0.5
2017/02/08
Why hello there and welcome to my blog! I'm currently remaking the entire site while its live, so until it's ready and I can make a before/after comparison, I thought I'd make some opening statements and let you know what I'm currently working on!
Current Projects
- X-Tactics
Work as per usual in Tokyo! Focusing on improving the game and making more content for upcoming updates and in-game events.
- Twitch Channel
Been streaming quite a lot lately, feels kind of like I'm riding a wave where I feel like I want to stream almost everyday, so have been trying to use it to the fullest. Although I always keep thinking about ways of how to improve the channel, so sometimes there is a clash of thoughts; should I stream to grow the channel, or improve its surroundings to make it better?
Right now I'm thinking about implementing a mascot called "OK-Bot" which I've drew a few concepts for and will probably post more about here in the future. I'm also thinking about setting up some sort of plans and perhaps making a highlight reel of my first month.
If you haven't already, you can follow my twitch channel here!
- YouTube Channel
Haven't been active on my youtube lately except for uploading the stream VoDs. I do have some storytelling videos I want to do, and soon I might be "performing" at a live storytelling event not too far from were I live. If I do so, I'll make sure to post about it and upload the uh, VoD, to the channel.
- Short Stories
Now this is something thats very on and off from time to time. While living in Tokyo it has happened not only once, but twice, that I wake up with a story in my head that I want to tell. I'm not sure if these stories are supposed to be Visual Novels (I'd love them to be) or if I'm going to keep them in a reading/book form. I've also started writing on a story which I just, have been thinking up on my spare time which I really adore. At the moment they are:
- 上の人：下北沢の愛物語 / The Person Above: A Shimokitazawa Love Story
An anonymous love story between two men who live and work in Shimokitazawa. - The Colored Doors
A thriller-mystery about people who live and die in an apartment complex. - The Beldams / Krutgummorna
An action-comedy about three old ladies from different cultures who set out to save a young man who has gone missing shortly after engaging with the Yakuza.
- Hobby Game
Me and a friend started working on a game a couple of months back which I want to take up again, the premise is that it's a app game were you play as a Japanese construction worker who wants to save Japans economy by guiding people correctly in the streets.
Yep, for realz. We have the basic mechanics working, and I've drawn a few concepts of the main character and logotype for the game which I've started calling "Don Don Help!" or 「ドンドン・ヘルプ！」hopefully there is more to talk about when it comes to this in the near future.
Now to get this website finished and ready...